What is my problem?

I thought I was done making all the decisions and planning everything all the time (Note: this is not in reference to group activities with a bunch of friends, everyone knows I don't do that very often at all. Also for good reason). Will someone please remind me why I'm doing it again?

My cousin once suggested that I was a sucker for abuse. Maybe that's true. I don't know. It's just that, if I can do something, I usually have a hard time saying no to someone, or I'll go out of my way to make sure things work out, even if it's not really my obligation/shouldn't be my obligation. And I do too much, expecting nothing. Wow, this all sounds really vague, sorry. I'm just pseudo-multitasking at the moment (everyone knows that ability only exists in our fantasies, right?)

This is making me sound like I really don't like giving service or something. That's not my intention; service is wonderful. I'm talking about some guys being some guys, and some girls being some girls.

I mean, really, if a date is one person's idea, shouldn't it be that person's responsibility to make sure everything is planned and taken care of? I guess not. Some people have a hard time deciding on a day of the week, let alone an activity. On a sort-of-related note, if two people are more or less dating, is it too much to ask for a little balance in planning stuff? One person should not always be expected to do it all. It's exhausting. And less fun.

(Ha. I also love that I'm listening to girl-empowerment songs while I'm typing this.)

So why do I keep going back on my decision to make him work and do his part for once? No idea. I'm a softie, probably. One day he will learn, I hope. For tonight, I guess if the plan doesn't work out, I'll be improvising again.

But this is the last time I get used.
I promise.